Are these shadows or mirage I see?
People, scents, whispers.
I am part of the crowd, but can they see me?
An illusion only I can discern?
A Silhouette against the wall
Passersby take a quick glance with no acknowledgement
A moving shadow with a human soul floating by
Painted walls surround me
My lonely heart in it
Bullies like vultures circle around me
Village church full of empty seats,
Christmas carols sooth my sou.l
In a commuter bus occupied by my thoughts
I feel the empty seats breathing against my neck
My heart beat against my chest
I know I am alive I am human.
Am I that invisible?
In a sea of people, in a class, church, commuter bus, workplace.
I do remember my birthday,
I don’t remember being born.
No one knows me,
holds my hand.
Pain, wounds, scars invisible to the eye.
Engraved in my soul
Smothered by a mother’s love and warm bosom,
suffocated by a father’s patriarchal family tree
Men up, fight back, get up, be a man
Your masculinity a precious emerald that embodies you,
dust off femininity or forever remain forsaken
I am no chameleon, forever forsaken for my strangeness
Strangers polish me with their sweet love.
Sweet love on my scared heart, tinted in pain
Empty seats in my dreams,
empty seats crowd them out.
‘Thugging’ and ‘hustling’, they acknowledge me
Just for a moment, I belong.
Behind closed doors, I pull out my tiara
But you still don’t know me.
I will go to my grave haunted by your passion for hate
My full potential stifled by your cultures
Judgment set with a slap of bible verses
Slapped and branded on my cheek with your laws
Yes, you will never know me
In my own world, I seek dancers
Dancers that knows how to tango
I tango for my freedom.
Angels occupy my once empty seats
But to you all, I chose to crowd OUT
By Samuel L Matsikure.Poem inspired by ‘Moonlight’ (the movie Directed by Barry Jenkins 2016) and ‘The Wound’ “Inexba'(South African movie by John Trengove 2017. Samuel is an LGBT rights activist. see more of his writings here Here