Chronicles of a Queern

Empty seats

Are these shadows or mirage I see?

People, scents, whispers.

I am part of the crowd, but can they see me?

An illusion only I can discern?

A Silhouette against the wall

Passersby take a quick glance with no acknowledgement

A moving shadow with a human soul floating by

 

Painted walls surround me

Classroom full

Empty seats

My lonely heart in it

Bullies like vultures circle around me

Village church full of empty seats,

Christmas carols sooth my sou.l

In a commuter bus occupied by my thoughts

I feel the empty seats breathing against my neck

My heart beat against my chest

I know I am alive I am human.

Am I that invisible?

In a sea of people,  in a class, church, commuter bus, workplace.

 

I do remember my birthday,

I don’t remember being born.

No one knows me,

sees me,

holds my hand.

Pain, wounds, scars invisible to the eye.

Engraved in my soul

Smothered by a mother’s love and warm bosom,

suffocated by a father’s patriarchal family tree

Men up, fight back, get up, be a man

Your masculinity a precious emerald that embodies you,

dust off femininity or forever remain forsaken

I am no chameleon, forever forsaken for my strangeness

 

Strangers polish me with their sweet love.

Sweet love on my scared heart, tinted in pain

Empty seats in my dreams,

empty seats crowd them out.

 

‘Thugging’ and ‘hustling’, they acknowledge me

Just for a moment, I belong.

Behind closed doors, I pull out my tiara

But you still don’t know me.

 

I will go to my grave haunted by your passion for hate

My full potential stifled by your cultures

Judgment set with a slap of bible verses

Slapped and branded on my cheek with your laws

Yes, you will never know me

 

In my own world, I seek dancers

Dancers that knows how to tango

I tango for my freedom.

Angels occupy my once empty seats

But  to you all, I chose to crowd OUT

By Samuel L Matsikure.Poem inspired by ‘Moonlight’ (the movie Directed by Barry Jenkins 2016) and ‘The Wound’  “Inexba'(South African movie by  John Trengove 2017.    Samuel is an LGBT rights activist.  see more of his writings here Here

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