7 tips to keep the love flame


Rushing things and getting involved too early and trying to do too much too much are some of the most common mistakes we often make when it comes to matters of the heart.Below are some ideas of how we can develop better communication with others. There are no formulae for love but these are just a few tips that may help your relationship to survive longer if that is what you both wish for. It is also important to remember that a  relationship is about mutual love and respect.I hope these few steps will help you find or maintain fruitful relationships.



  1. Get to know each other, it may be useful to know what makes the next person happy, horny, angry, sad, vulnerable or what they value as an individual.

2. Communicate your feelings and thoughts clearly and honestly.

3. Supporting each other, e.g. if your partner is exposed to public humiliation or homo/ transphobia be supportive, do not abandon or neglect them, standing up for each other is as important as sticking with each other. Often times some outsiders do not respect our relationships because we show that we don’t respect or take them seriously ourselves.

4. The best feeling is when your lover also becomes your best buddy, this makes it easy to know each other better and to explore various activities or undertake other adventures such as starting a business together or engaging in couple’s sports.

5.  If you love someone, make sure you remind them through your actions too, words alone may not be enough.  Look at it this way; no one is obligated to be in a relationship with someone, that is why it is important to let the next person know how you feel about them.

6.Do not hold grudges or take long without resolving arguments, as this often leads to outbursts of anger and unnecessary abuse.  Choose to be around people with positive mindsets and of positive influence; for the sake of comfort and happiness.

7. Lastly; know your rights; as an LGBTIQ civilian, it is imperative that you know your rights. If any of your rights are however violated whether it is within the community or in the workplace, contacting your local LGBTIQ organisations,  supportive human rights groups could be considered in terms of guidance and advice.

Remember being in the same-sex relationship or a relationship that challenges societal cultural norms, is likely to come with some backlash especially in communities where we are considered deviants. It is, therefore, important that we protect each other always and be sensitive towards our partner’s fears, if someone is in the closet do not force them to come out because it makes you happy, do not parade your partner if this may expose them to harm, be considerate and compassionate. However, whilst most LGBTIQ relationships are underground and not made public or revealed to friends or family, it is still crucial that we value and respect each other as the individuals in love.  In the, end it is not about what others are saying about your relationship, it is all about being truthful and loyal to each other in or outside the closet.


By Kellan,  from Capetown,  South Africa.

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